The Vagabond Saga

A Journey Through Life To Understand Happiness

Qoutes from the Vagabond pt 2 August 5, 2009

When asked, “How many times do you forgive before it is enough?” I answer “always one more time.”
When asked, “How many times should you turn the other cheek?”
I answer, “Hit me, and I will forgive– but from a safe distance.”
When asked, “How many times should I be taken advantage of?”
I answer, “No one can defraud you from what you offer freely.”

Why can’t love be like a cat? Each morning greeted with a stretch and playful scratch. A surprise purr as it curls up in the lap. Fiercely independent but insatiable in its desire. Slip into slumber with that sleek sinewy frame curled up beside, two impish eyes almost closed and playful little bite.
“Meow”

Happiness can not be found by searching, but revealed by lifting the barriers we have placed in front of us.

A mouth may speak wisdom, but only through meditation can the body understand it.

Observe as a witness with no agenda and you will realizes that what you see depends on HOW you look.

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. Unfortunately, I became an artist first and therefore have only ever found the love of words to touch me. Art has become the jealous mistress that has worn me to tatters until I became unsuitable to suitors.

Lust is like salt given to a thirsty man.

If you want others to be happy practice compassion, if you want to be happy practice patience.

Lusts are never satiated. Feed the beast and grow its hunger like a wildfire. Lusts are only quenched cooling the senses with mindfulness, dowsing the licking flames with stillness, and removing the ember coals from temptation.

When things turn cold, warm everyone with the burning compassion of your heart; when things get hot, drop the temperature with a cool head.

Only by learning how to love yourself can the world know how to love you.

The world engulfed in sanguine and ochre flame of Septembers; zephyrs that swat and shake; Until liberation gently dances Down into the significance of crunchy blankets For children and rakish dads, like Apollo Distant and withdrawing Relenting custody of his warmth To a tepid and distant gaze Fervent panting observed creates Exhaust against the bitter bite Of “alone”

“Hourglass” There is a time, playful and free the worlds solid and absolute ages 3 to 33 Then you feel that September ice in the viens the slow aging climb, footing less sure on pebbled lanes Things take more time when most is gone Sandy paths harder to trudge along Throats dry along the dusty path tongue wets the lips as if its the last There is a time from first to last to cherish the moment for it won’t last.

It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something of what you want to say, then contemplate if it the words communicate your brilliance adequately, then write them down and let them sit for a day so you can see them with fresh eyes, then be a critical editor and tear it apart and start over. When you are sure that your words completely convey your message– smile and say nothing.

 

Dealing with Anger May 16, 2009

Vagabond,

This topic is anger and abandonment. I was very angry at my partner and said very hurtful things, even though I thought I had calmed down. I did not stop to monitor the tension in my neck and face, as I should.

I am going to counseling and it was mentioned there that given my background, feelings of abandonment may be seeded in me and arising during an incident. I am wondering what you think about anger and abandonment.

For me following buddhadharma, what might I read from the dharma to help me on this?

Thanks, friends in the dharma,

Susan P.

Susan,

If I may offer, you still see your feelings as a part of you. They are not. Thought is one of the six senses. Just like you cannot remove the sensation of the wind on your skin, you can not control or ignore the thoughts that arise in your head. What you can do is change how you relate to those sensations.

When you have a moment of anger, take time to investigate them. What were the triggers that brought the arising of those feelings? What were the events that created your feelings of craving, aversion or ignorance?

If you feel a breeze, do you like it or not like it? It is just the breeze. You have assigned a value to it. If you like it, you crave more. If you find it distracting or unpleasant, you create a feeling of aversion. The same is true with people and thoughts.

By investigating these emotions and what brings about your relationships to them, you will will peel back the layers like an onion. As you go deeper, you will see that many of these relationships to people and emotions are conditions like habits. As you pull back more layers you will see that these habits were created by cravigns and aversions that you had at a previous time, and each time these situations arose instead of detaching your cravings, you added more (like a pearl is created by constant adding to a pebble of sand). When you remove the layers, you will find that the final sand pebble is your own sense of ego or sense of “I” and what you value as expectations for that ego.

Eventually, we must recognize that the “I” is an illusion. We are only formed in our aggregates for a short period of time. All name and form is as well. With all things impermanent, we can see that many of our concepts are wrongly created with a sense of expectation– a sense that the world is permanent and things SHOULD work a certain way, instead of recognizing that all things are as they are and should be accepted JUST AS THEY ARE.

With this wisdom we can relate to them properly. We can assign true value to them. Relationships are not static. People are not static. The universe is not static. It is all process and constantly changing. All things arise and fade. All things unfold as they do and not as they are wished to be.

This is the seed the grows metta, loving kindness or unconditional acceptance. With metta we see the world differently. We accept and relate to the world wisely. We no longer crave, but we also no longer avert ourselves. We no longer hate or blame or cling. The tempest of emotion and suffering becomes calm like a pool on a windless day.

This is why meditation daily is so important. It gives us the tools to see the world wisely. It allows us to engage with the universe correctly. It allows us to find an inner happiness that does not come from external pleasures (which include joy as well as pain).

Meditation what you should do, because the book you should be reading and comprehending is yourself. That is where the true Buddhadarma resides.

 

The Nature of Delusion (Avijja) April 23, 2009

 

A magician pulls out a bit of rope and cuts in half. He ties the two pieces of rope together and pulls the knot taught. Then he puts a hand over the knot and incants the magic words and “voila” the rope is whole again. The audience is in awe. They know the laws of the universe makes what happen impossible, and yet it just happened. Everyone is delighted because what we know and what has happened to not match: which is true?

 

The reality is that through a series of rehearsed moves the rope only appears to be cut in the middle. It is really cut at the end of the rope, the knot is not joining two equal pieces of rope but a small bit of rope knotted around a large rope section. As the magician’s hands grasp over the rope he pulls the knot off the longer thread and “voila” the rope is whole again. When the illusion is executed perfectly, every step looks real and it challenges our perceptions.

 

Even when the audience knows how the trick is done, the mind rarely changes its perceptions. “People take reality for granted,” explained Teller from the magic team Penn & teller. “Reality seems so simple. We just open our eyes and there it is. But that doesn’t mean it is simple.”

Magic is a fraud of perception confusing and creating tension between what is and what seems to be. Our brains don’t see everything—our brains only process 40% of the information that is gathered by our senses. Our senses gather only a minute fraction of the information that in the reality in front of us. To make sense of it all, our brain creates shortcuts. We cognize constructions and rationalizations: this creates definitions of what is and what is not.

Magicians capitalize on those rules. “Every time you perform a magic trick, you’re engaging in experimental psychology,” Teller says. “If the audience asks, ‘How the hell did he do that?’ then the experiment was successful. I’ve exploited the efficiencies of your mind.”

Even when the mind is aware it is being deceived the conditioning of our reality is so strong that our intellect argues with our instinctive habits and responses. It is only possible to break through our habitual conditions of “what is” reality by investigating and reverse-engineering the rationalizations, deceptions and delusions.

The Buddha said, “ignorance is the leader in the attainment of unskillful qualities, followed by a lack of conscience and lack of concern. Immersed in ignorance, wrong view arises. In wrong view, wrong resolve arises. In wrong resolve, wrong speech arises, thus follows wrong action, wrong livelihood, wrong effort, wrong mindfulness, and wrong concentration.

As a child, my grandmother had put in a wall of mirrors in her house against one wall. Not paying attention, I walked full-force and straight into the wall. Who hasn’t walked into a glass door at least once in their life? We have all smashed our noses at some point, because our perceptions are often habituated and much of what we do in life is on cruise control. There is just too much information in our daily lives to be cognize every detail in every moment. We expect the world to react in a predictable way and are surprised when it doesn’t. “Bam!” We end up with our noses turned sideways wondering how we could have been so foolish not to see the door knob or ourselves in the mirror: details that become obvious after the fact.

The Buddha said, “From ignorance comes fabrications. From fabrications comes sense-awareness, name & form, the senses, contact, feeling (or value impressions), craving, clinging and the arising and passing all things.”

This is the dependent condition of who we are. All suffering exists because we exist. With the condition of birth, we suffer pains, discontentment, aging, sorrow, illness and death. Not just with the gross reality of our lives as a whole process, but as an infinite series of processes. From ignorance we form delusions of the way things are, we create opinions and cravings and eventually opinions and emotions about things. The arising of anger, love, sorrow, etc. all arise form their own dependent originations.

If you had asked a friend to give you a ride and they are late, what arises? Not knowing what happens we start to create the stories: he forgot, he blew me off, he is in the wrong place, he is in an accident, etc. Each story that runs through our head gives rise to different conclusions and emotions. Each is validated and fed by our own ego. And when our friend finally arrives, we still cling to stresses and frustrations created by our imaginations.

Without a proper foundation of how to recognize the arising and passing of phenomena, we continue to unmindfully live on “cruise control” in many aspects of our lives, which affect our overall ignorance of perception. We assume the door is open and do not look to see if it is a glass door and inevitably we find ourselves a painful reminder that life is not what is seems.

And even at that point of awareness, we may not be able to overcome our conditioning. Some of our paradigms and constructs of the mind are so rooted within us, that they seem integral to who we are. We know that what we see is reality, so we cannot resolve the conflict of our perception with our intellect when we see a magic trick in front of us: even when we KNOW it is an illusion.

The Buddha said, “There are three taints: the taint of sensual desire, the taint of being and the taint of ignorance. However, it is the taint of ignorance that all other taints follow.” With the cessation of ignorance, there is right view and understanding.

Ignorance is the source of the three poisons: hate, greed and delusion. Without an understanding of what is and what is not, we develop false relationships with the phenomena around us. We crave for some phenomena and reject others. With ignorance we are deluded into thinking that our conditioning created by habits and false view is true reality. However, when we understand suffering, the cause of suffering, and the practices to end suffering; we deconstruct the conditioned world we live in and start living in an unconditioned reality of wisdom and right view.

This isn’t as difficult as it seems. When the secrets of a magic trick are revealed, it is often amazing how simple they are, how blind our minds have become and how willingly gullible the universe is to its own constructed reality.

Ajahn Brahm said, “Buddhism is different than most other religions because it never asks us to make the facts match the dhamma. The dhamma must always match the truth or it is not dhamma.”

The world is a magical place, full of illusions and misdirections, rationalizations and delusions. It is through Buddhist practice that we develop the skills to exist beyond all of that.

 

The Kalama Sutta is not about Skepticism April 5, 2009

The often quoted pasage from the kalama sutta is as follows–

“It is proper for you, Kalamas, to doubt, to be uncertain; uncertainty has arisen in you about what is doubtful. Come, Kalamas. Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon surmise; nor upon an axiom; nor upon specious reasoning; nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been pondered over; nor upon another’s seeming ability; nor upon the consideration, ‘The monk is our teacher.’ Kalamas, when you yourselves know: ‘These things are bad; these things are blamable; these things are censured by the wise; undertaken and observed, these things lead to harm and ill,’ abandon them.”

Many people take this passage as a the Buddha saying “don’t trust anything and be skeptical.” That is not the Buddha’s intent. What the Buddha is saying is that we should not believe in teaching “just because.” Just because our pastor said so. Just because we were born Catholic. Just because I like this person’s personality. The Buddha did not mean you should not believe, but don’t believe just for those reasons. There must be a time of reflection on our beliefs to know if they are dhamma or not. How many people are Catholic just because their parents were? How many people Church goers don’t read the Bible, but just quote their pastor as to what is truth or not?

The Buddha follows up with “”Therefore, did we say, Kalamas, what was said thus, ‘Come Kalamas. Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon surmise; nor upon an axiom; nor upon specious reasoning; nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been pondered over; nor upon another’s seeming ability; nor upon the consideration, “The monk is our teacher.” Kalamas, when you yourselves know: “These things are good; these things are not blamable; these things are praised by the wise; undertaken and observed, these things lead to benefit and happiness,” enter on and abide in them.’”

When we can evaluate the words based on the direct experience as beneficial to our happiness, we know that it is dhamma.

The sutta is designed not to make people skeptical, but get them to think about their conditioning and offer them tools to evaluate the truth for themselves.

The Buddha told monk Upali, after being asked to explain how to tell what is Dhamma and what is not— “Upali, the qualities of which you may know, ‘These qualities do not lead to utter disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, nor to Unbinding’: You may definitely hold, ‘This is not the Dhamma, this is not the Vinaya, this is not the Teacher’s instruction.’ “As for the qualities of which you may know, ‘These qualities lead to utter disenchantment, to dispassion, to cessation, to calm, to direct knowledge, to self-awakening, to Unbinding’: You may definitely hold, ‘This is the Dhamma, this is the Vinaya, this is the Teacher’s instruction.’”

These are the tools we use, the gauge by which we discern. Skeptical energy is negative energy when it is done with distrust and aversion.

I always remember “Paccattam veditabbo vinnuhi

“The wise must know for themselves.”

 

The Worthless Pearl April 2, 2009

(an old tale retold)

Five merchant caravans met at an oasis in the trading routes through the desert. As the merchants set up their tents and their assistants cooked dinner, one merchant saw a glimmer in another merchant’s bag.

“Whoa,” said the first merchant. “What gem is that you have, which glows bright like the setting sun?”

The second merchant pulled out a pearl as large as a cat’s eye, and its brilliance did reflect the sunset so perfectly that it seemed to glow.

“I am from Bahrain,” said the second merchant. “There we have oysters that grow the most magnificant pearls in the world. My bags are full of them and other treasures.”

Many of the assistants and merchants marveled at the rare preciousness of the treasures in the second merchants saddlebags. All but one merchant, whose temples had turned silver and face had been carved deep with age.

“Are you not impressed by the magnificance of these things?” the first merchant inquired. “Surely you have never seen such wealth!”

The old merchant responded, “I too was a marchant from Bahrain. I too used to travel this road with filled saddlebags of pearls and rubies. Then one day I was caught in a sand storm. It lasted for two days. When it was over, I was alone from my caravan. I came across a bag and crazed with thirst and pained from hunger, I opened it looking for food and water. All I found were pearls that fell and lost themselves in the sand.”

What is the worth of a pearl in the desert?

 

Do not believe– Be April 2, 2009

Do not “believe.” Instead embody “being” and “leaving.” Know how it is to be here and now. Be content with being. Do not avoid unpleasantness, as if it was unnatural. Do not thirst for pleasure as a cure for sorrow. Unpleasantness is an illusion that is given strength through indulgence. Pleasure is a pill that only offers temporary relief from a chronic suffering of ignorance. So we must learn to be. Do not give strength to luxury of discomfort. Do not confuse pleasure for happiness, which is the only cure for suffering.

With act of being, we can then begin leaving: the putting down of the irrelevant. As a child we played as a child. As an adult we put away childish things. And as we spiritually mature and learn to be without avoidance or thirsting for the “only if” desires of the world, we loosen our grasp to objects and activities that no longer have meaning. The putting down of these burdens, we are able to feel the unbearable lightness of being. We can taste the liberation of suffering.

A common question when someone dies is “did he leave anything behind?” In truth, he leaves everything behind: His possessions he spent a life time collecting and protecting, his loves, his family, his body, his experience. How much of that life was spent in the delusion that it was essential to want, have, collect and protect? What fears drive us to think that “only if” we were comfortable enough, loved enough, influential enough that we would finally be happy?

When we are able to loosen our grasping, we not only let go of objects. We let go of our fears, our hatreds, our greed, and our delusions of what has meaning. That is when the cycle returns the focus again to the bliss of being. The cycle is active and kinetic.

Beliefs are static thoughts of the mind, and as thoughts are clouds that shift and change continually without real form or substance. Do not believe: become. Do not believe: embody. Do not believe: embrace. Do not believe: be.